Where is OUR safety net?

Having your first kid can put strain on your marriage. I've heard so many parents reflect on their marriage during their first child's first year as being a 'rough patch', a 'tough time', and even as 'the year I just wanted to smack him every minute of everyday!' And now, being a first time mom, I can see where these experienced parents were coming from. I mean (and don't get me wrong, I love my husband and he loves me) there are in fact days where I just wanna smack him and say 'what are you thinking'. Its such a change, and no matter how prepared you think you are for it, you really have no clue. You might have checked off every box on your 'preparing for baby checklist' but nothing can prepare you for the change in priorities, communication, and lifestyle that comes with kids. 

Ok, you're all wondering. Are the Keller's having marital problems? Don't worry the answer is No, but we have had a major change in the way we live our daily lives, and it isn't always easy to say 'please and thank you' in the same way we used to. I wondered while we were in the NICU with K, what having a 25 weeker would mean for our marriage, above and beyond the fact Kahlen is our first kiddo. I was fortunate that the crisis of having Kahlen early actually brought us closer together. But not all parents in the NICU are able to do this, by no fault of their own. It is such a life altering experience, and in most cases it happens suddenly, without warning, and without a chance to step back, regroup, and move forward as a cohesive unit. Not unlike other traumatic experiences, we all deal with things so differently. None of them are 'wrong' but I can imagine how frustrating it would have been if Steve had dealt with it in a way contrary to me, or in a way I felt was 'wrong' (for whatever reason).

I have been fortunate enough to keep in touch with 15 NICU families, and many of them are going through 'rough patches' right now. It makes me frustrated think that the hospital doesn't have more 'safety nets' in place for the parents. Nothing is spared to help our kids! I really believe there should be a program (for those that want it) of support for parents. I know this wont solve the 'first year marital slump' issue but it might help parents avoid or navigate some of the pitfalls the NICU has to offer. It might just make that first year a bit less of a wild ride. I doubt having extra support or help will have any negative effect on anything but the hospitals budget. I just hate to see good people continue to 'suffer' after surviving the trauma of the NICU.

Am I the only one?

(Note: Beth, the social worker at RCHs NICU, does an amazing job with the resources available to her! This is no slight against her and all the wonderful work she does!!!)