Grassland Liberation

Today I met up with Barb and her ADORABLE kids Naveen and Prachetas. It took us weeks, and weeks, and weeks to finally get together (damn sick kids) but it was worth the wait. We grabbed a coffee at 'Bucks and fed the kids some brunch. After a while all 3 kids got a bit squirmy so we walked over to Sapperton Park. I'll be honest, I wasn't a huge fan of the park before, but It kind of grew on me today. I usually walk the extra 10 blocks to Hume Park (which I adore, this park has everything) but we were on a tight schedule, and Sapperton Park was right next door. So we walked over and put the kids on the swings. An adorable photo op... but I forgot. Prachetas giggled away, Miss K watched him with a smirk, and Naveen ran wild. Then we went over to the big swings, another great photo op, but I forgot. I watched Prachetas walk around, occasionally sitting and playing with the grass and I laughed at how uptight I am. I wouldn't let K sit/crawl on the grass in case she got wet/dirty. How stupid am I? She is a kid right? So I let go. I let her crawl, and sit, and fall in love with the grass. She ripped it, tossed it, and I think even sampled a few blades. She was adorable, and I fell even more in love with her. 

(she looks a little unsure... but seconds later she was all smiles)

Kahlen LOVED having Naveen there, and I think Naveen was enjoying having another little girl around. Kahlen and she sat, sometimes snuggling side-by-side, enjoying the sun and the grass. As soon as I picked up the camera Naveen played shy, lay down and covered her eyes. SO cute! Kahlen, was totally oblivious to me and the camera... "can't smile mom, eating grass."

And finally we walked (yes all of us walked... K with some help though) over to a grassy area and the kids helped themselves to an impromptu picnic. Kahlen clutched her new snack cup (a wonderful invention) and Naveen sprinkled the contents of a second snack cup (which I had no idea was in the stroller basket) on the grass for her and her brother to share. They sat snacking, and I stood watching, dumbfounded by how big our little premies have become (P was a 26 weeker). 

I find it so exciting and heart wrenching when I watch her grow up, or more accurately, when I turn around and realize she has grown up without me noticing. I am hoping the weather is nice tomorrow, I am in the mood for another park day!

Ladies Night, Fingers to Toes

We had another Ladies night. This time we went to the Pure Nail Bar in Port Moody's Sutter Brooke Village (kitty corner from New Port Villiage). The Nail Bar advertises: "after hours parties-beginning at 6pm, book your own private party. reserve the nail bar any night of the week and you and your guests can get pampered exclusively! minimum $400 to be spent in services."

I thought a private party would be a fun idea, and I wasn't opposed to being papered either. So I rounded up the gals, called the Nail Bar and booked us in, and sat back eagerly awaiting the night out away from Miss K (who has become a tantrum queen). I should have been more savvy and more attentive to my intuition when, on the day of our ladies night, I got a call from the nail bar. The converstaion went somthing like this "... blah blah blah. Would you mind coming in earlier tonight? The party is booked or 7pm which makes it a long day for the girls. 6pm would work better for us." To which I replied "sorry no, 7pm was booked for a reason. No one could possible get there any earlier." Admittedly, I was lying. We could have gone earlier but I was annoyed that they called on the morning of our ladies night to change the start time, when they had know about the party for nearly 2 weeks prior. Hmmmph! So, we arrived at the Nail Bar, eager to relax, eat, chat, drink, and unwind while being pampered. As soon as we walked through the doors we were quickly herded to the couches and encouraged (strongly) to get our services started. I had hoped to grab a drink, unpack my goodies and say "hello" to the other ladies before settling in for my services, but I sat down anyways and decided to go with the flow. I sat and was pampered and enjoyed my Mani-Pedi Combo ($65 with tax and gratuity included) and chatted with Emily and Candace who were nearest to me. Well, to be honest, I chatted with everyone... loudly. I had fun laughing with my friends and eating too many brownies (thats DC). BUT... I have a gripe. Just one. The whole experience felt rushed. From the second that the woman called me to see if we could come earlier, I felt rushed. Get in, get your services, and get out. I wanted to chat and catch up with friends. I wanted to luxuriate with friends and get pampered. I wanted to relax. I wanted something different than my normal day-day frazzled state. I wasn't able to FULLY relax and unwind because I felt like the 'girls' HAD in fact had a long day, and were ready to go home and relax themselves (they were friendly though). So we were kind of rushed though our services, had a quick visit in the Nail bar, gobbled our delish snacks (good job ladies!), and headed to Starbucks so we could spend more time catching up.

All in all, I had fun, but wasn't 'wowed' by the Pure Nail Bar. Might be a fun afternoon destination with a friend but Im not going to encourage anyone to book an after hours party with them. I hope the ladies had fun regardless of the rushed feel. It was great to see you all and catch up. I promise the next ladies night will be MUCH more relaxed.... im thinking someplace with alcohol.. ha ha ha.

Notice how we all went with bright colours for our toes. Only one person went with a bring colour for her fingernails, the rest went neutral. Hmmmm ;)

Where is OUR safety net?

Having your first kid can put strain on your marriage. I've heard so many parents reflect on their marriage during their first child's first year as being a 'rough patch', a 'tough time', and even as 'the year I just wanted to smack him every minute of everyday!' And now, being a first time mom, I can see where these experienced parents were coming from. I mean (and don't get me wrong, I love my husband and he loves me) there are in fact days where I just wanna smack him and say 'what are you thinking'. Its such a change, and no matter how prepared you think you are for it, you really have no clue. You might have checked off every box on your 'preparing for baby checklist' but nothing can prepare you for the change in priorities, communication, and lifestyle that comes with kids. 

Ok, you're all wondering. Are the Keller's having marital problems? Don't worry the answer is No, but we have had a major change in the way we live our daily lives, and it isn't always easy to say 'please and thank you' in the same way we used to. I wondered while we were in the NICU with K, what having a 25 weeker would mean for our marriage, above and beyond the fact Kahlen is our first kiddo. I was fortunate that the crisis of having Kahlen early actually brought us closer together. But not all parents in the NICU are able to do this, by no fault of their own. It is such a life altering experience, and in most cases it happens suddenly, without warning, and without a chance to step back, regroup, and move forward as a cohesive unit. Not unlike other traumatic experiences, we all deal with things so differently. None of them are 'wrong' but I can imagine how frustrating it would have been if Steve had dealt with it in a way contrary to me, or in a way I felt was 'wrong' (for whatever reason).

I have been fortunate enough to keep in touch with 15 NICU families, and many of them are going through 'rough patches' right now. It makes me frustrated think that the hospital doesn't have more 'safety nets' in place for the parents. Nothing is spared to help our kids! I really believe there should be a program (for those that want it) of support for parents. I know this wont solve the 'first year marital slump' issue but it might help parents avoid or navigate some of the pitfalls the NICU has to offer. It might just make that first year a bit less of a wild ride. I doubt having extra support or help will have any negative effect on anything but the hospitals budget. I just hate to see good people continue to 'suffer' after surviving the trauma of the NICU.

Am I the only one?

(Note: Beth, the social worker at RCHs NICU, does an amazing job with the resources available to her! This is no slight against her and all the wonderful work she does!!!)

First Trip to the Park

We have been having unseasonable warm (and DRY) weather as of late, so Miss K and I headed to the park with good friends of ours Candace, Kayla, and Hayley! This was Miss Ks first trip to the park and I think I was more excited than she was! When we got there Miss K took her first trip on the swings. At first she wasn't too keen about the whole thing, but she warmed up the the idea after watching pseudo big sister Hayley show her how fun it can be!

After some time on the little kid swings we headed over to the big kid swings. Miss K and I shared a swing and Hayley sat beside us, chatting with us and making Miss K smile.

When we had all had enough swinging, we headed over the the quasi elephant shaped bouncy see saw thing and took a ride (much less kinky than it sounds... ha ha ha).

It was a great day, and Miss K sure enjoyed the park and some time with BFFs Kayla and Hayley. Miss K and Kayla go way back to the NICU days, and Hayley is Kayla's big sister. The 3 girls are too cute together. I think, in the not so far future, Hayley might find herself being the object of a little hero worship from the 2 younger girls.

Hayley and Kayla

Candace and I had fun too, and I have Candace to thank for all the pictures (I forgot my camera).

Fancy Friday

Today some of us NICU mom-babe teams headed over to Jessica's for a play date. I've already blogged about the good, bad and ugly of a play date so I won't bother with that. This time we took some pictures of the kids, all together, so we could document their friendship from the get-go.

(Starting in the top left hand corner going clockwise:

Kayla, Abbigayle, Sophia, Cameron (our stud) Kahlen and Josie)

We lay the kiddos down on the floor with their heads close together. Getting six kids, all of whom can roll over, to stay on their backs was surprisingly easy. Then again, our kids ARE insanely smart, so it wasn't THAT big a surprise. It was a great time, and Im so glad we were able to get some pics of the kids together. Next time we need to organize a get together with ALL the NICU grads :)

Play Date 2009

Okay, Im behind on the blog (big surprise eh?). And maybe worse than being behind, I've become a thief. The pictures you are about to see are stolen... well maybe I should say 'borrowed' because I have a feeling the person I 'borrowed' them from won't mind (I hope!!).

So, the post...

On Dec 30th Kahlen and I hosted her first playdate. Naturally I invited some of the NICU mommas (I love these women) and the worlds cutest premature babes over. I frantically cleaned before their arrival, trying to make the impression I am a good house keeper (which is a huge lie...and I think they fell for it!) and that I can juggle and balance all the elements of my life successfully (what a joke!). But eventually, I managed to hide all our junk in the nooks and crannies of our home. I put out the spread of goodies. Sadly it happened so long ago I don't even remember what amazing things I bought and then put on a plate and pretended I made. Yes I do that! AND... the girls and babes came over.

We chatted, and ate, and admired each others kids. I may be biased but we have REALLY good looking kids. I mean really.. these kids are going to grow up to be HOT! Anyways, I digress. We chatted and relaxed and swapped horror stories. Poonamis, puke, sleep deprivation, and all the glamorous parts of motherhood. Jokes aside though. These women reassure me, support me, advise me, laugh with me, and make my life better. I am thankful for them, and oddly enough, thankful that our kids were all premature and that we had the chance to meet, bond, and develop freindships. I fell as though I have known some of these women my whole life, and most I have known for less than 10 months. Our kids have literally grown up together and I am grateful that Kahlen's first friends come from such loving, caring, and genuinely wonderful families!

First Date

Where does the time go?

Yesterday: learning to make farting noises with your mouth.

Today: Your first date.

Okay... calm down. It wasn't a REAL date.

There were chaperones!

Ha ha ha.

So Kahlen and her Man (Adam) went on a movie date, and agreed to let their mom's tag along. We went to Silver City Coquitlam and took in the 'Stars and Strollers' movie (its just for moms/babes and has lowered volume, more lights on, change tables, and stroller parking). The kids were VERY well behaved and aside from a random fire alarm which made me panic, pick-up Kahlen, and knock over the popcorn and my drink... I..*ahem* We, had a great time!

Ahhhhh. They grow up so fast!

Walks at Rocky Point

In an effort to loose my 'baby weight' I have been making an effort to walk every other day. Kahlen always joins me and is a cheerful and motivating walking partner. Other Mom/Babe combos walk with us when they can and its nice to catch up and get some fresh air.

This is Kahlen and her partner in crime Kayla in their 'big girl' strollers for the first time.

The girls taking in the view at the end of the Rocky Point pier!

Aren't we cute?

The Tally Walk

In the spirit of minimizing my wiggle and jiggle I spend my evening walking with a good friend. We started at Rocky Point Park and walked all the way to the end of the paved trail (wherever that is... I got so turned around!) chatting and tallying all the way.

Pros (forehead tally): good sense of humor, kind, silly, passive (good for bulldozing), good conversation, tries to minimize and reassure my stroller envy, agrees 5 y/o should not be in a stroller with a soother, has an 'adventurous' husband (HA ha ha!), is easy to relax around, is as quirky as me!

Cons (bum tally): inability to keep stroller safely on the trail, suffers from magnetic stroller, apologizes for almost everything, stalks me when I get dressed, has a 'bad' nipple, needs lip gloss for her small lips.

If you have no clue what Im talking about... thats okay... its an inside joke. BUT, if you want to try and figure out who I've been walking with... the game is on!

Oh the places you'll go....

I have given much thought to how kahlen has changed our lives. I think other than the obvious joy and sense of purpose she give me, her early arrival has given me the chance to meet and bond with other people, whom I might have otherwise never known. I have met a mother of 4 who inspires me with her love, strength, and ability to forgive and celebrate circumstance. I have met a mother of two who helps me laugh at myself and feel good about the smallest milestones and silly quirks. I have met a tiny babe and her parents who keep me grounded by reminding me to celelbrate the present and the future..." oh the places you'll go". I have met 2 first time mommas who remind me that babies change and get big so quick, and how to enjoy the littlest and most adorable parts of Kahlen while she is young. I am so thankful for every momma and daddy I have met through the NICU. I honestly own them big time. Without them my sanity would be a thing of the past. So thank-you moms and dad. Thank you for helping me understand how a serries of unexpected events can bring people together, and for being strong for me when I needed it most!