Parenting 101

I heard a mom at the mall yesterday say "well, MY child is perfect". I began pondering about that statement last night (yes! Watch out! Another ponder!) I sat down, and honestly asked myself "do I think Kahlen perfect?" And a great battle in my mind ensued. Part of my brain said "Of course she is! She is your daughter and all mothers are supposed to think their kids are perfect!". Another part of my brain was saying "Perfect? My kid doesn't sleep through the night! Perfect? Thats a joke!". And yet another part of my brain went back to a phrase my mom said when I was a teen that stuck with me "Perfect is boring!". And after much pondering, after the battle field in my brain was cleared and the dust settled, I decided that "NO my kiddo is NOT perfect, and I love her that way!" 

Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful baby. She is a riot, a hoot, and a constant source of joy and laughter in my life! She keeps me on my toes, teaches me, learns along side me, and makes me feel complete (no matter how cliche it is)! But perfect is boring. Perfect eliminates the possibility for growth and change. Perfect desroyes those moments of excited learning. perfect is static, unchanging, and as my mom worded it 'Boring!". So I'll take my kiddo, just as she is, with room for growth and learning and change.

After having this epiphanal (is this a word?) ponder, I decided to browse online looking for parenting resources that supported my new ideology that kids are NOT perfect and need challenges and oppertunities to change and grow. These are a few I found that piqued my Curiosity:

The Committee of Skeptical Inquiry

This particular article on the site was an interesting read. Im not sure I agree with all of it, but for arguments sake, its a good 'think inducing' read. Its kind of slow in the beginning, but it picks up relevance as you go.Its basically exploring the possibilities created when raising a critical thinker.

SkepDad Blog

An interesting take on the elements of critical thinking: The "Three Eyes".

.... And just like that, my 'not so perfect' Kahlen wakes up just when I start to hit my searching stride.

Love it. Love her!

(P.S. I don't consider myself to be a skeptic, but I find I tend to lean more towards being a skeptic than being a faithful believer. I hate the idea of being classified, it seems limiting. I did include two skeptic websites though so I though I needed to make some sort of note to clarify ;)

Mario Bros. Coma

Imagine this. It is 7:53. Your child is always in be bed, sleeping in 7 minutes.  The new Mario Bros game is prepped and ready to go in the Wii, the beer is cold, and the PJs are waiting warm from the dryer with extra fabric softener. "SWEET!" you think to yourself, just like a grade 8 boy having heard confirmation that his friend actually touched a boob. "SWEET SWEET SWEET!" Only... that kid, doesn't go to sleep. The beer waits, and PJ are donned and quickly, and unceremoniously, covered in drool. The lesson? Life with kids rarely goes as you planned.

The good news, however, is that we all still had a great night.
Kahlen stayed up, but barely! She lay on the floor all snuggled up in the 'nook' of the breast feeding pillow, which happened to be draped in the worlds softest blanket at the time, and gently nibbled on her teething ring. We termed this the "Mario Bros. Coma".  She stayed in that coma, silently nibbling away, for nearly 2 hours. It was almost comedic. No. It WAS comedic. There were times when Steve or I jumped up or made a loud noise, just to make sure she was still breathing. She was adorable! I realize this type of stillness might be normal for some babies, but Kahlen NEVER stops moving. NO JOKE. She is like an energizer baby (check out the previous post where I taped her playing for 20 minutes in time lapse. You will begin to understand just how much she moves). So it was a nice break for us, and she seemed to really enjoy the terrible video game playing skills of her parents!

Now the actual game. It was comedy at its finest. I swear we have never laughed so hard in ages. We laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and SUCKED! We were terrible! Horrible! Im sure the beer didn't help our cause. It was the first time since K was born that I indulged, and had 3 whole drinks. Im not ashamed to admit, I was drunk. Ha! Pathetic! But we had a blast and stayed up till nearly 2am. As we dragged out pathetic, tipsy, video game playing asses to bed, we lamented about how K would be up soon and that we would be "sooooooooo tired". As an additional perk to a fun night, we also had a babe who slept for 10 hours. BLISS!

So. If you have a crazy baby, a wild baby, a baby who never stops moving. Turn on the Wii and put that baby in a Mario Bros Coma and enjoy your night!

ROLL CALL!

Okay. Someone posted a comment about my last blog post. In the chaos, in the sea of toys featured in the time lapse video of Kahlen playing, a very preceptive 'anonymous' follower of my blog wanted to know "where is Elmo?". Good Question! Elmo is in time out. "Time out for a toy? Are you Nuts?"
 The answer is YES... well sort of.

When you have a kid as loved, adored and spoiled as mine, you find that you have toys taking over you living room. My kiddo has more toys than all the children in some small country have added up together. For real! SOOOOoooo many toys! So, to avoid killing ourselves tripping over then all, and to avoid the need to buy new toys, we (well, more accurately, I) devised a plan. We have a toy rotation. We separate the toys into groups (2-3) and rotate the toys through periods of 'play' and 'vacation'. The vacationing toys live in a box in Ks room. They relax and regroup after having been hit, throw, sucked on, and generally abused, and we all forget we own them. Then as K grows bored of certain 'play' toys, as they become neglected, rejected and unsuckedonected (Ok. I made that word up!) we give them a vacation, and pull out one of the well rested toys from the vacation box. Kahlen squeals with delight as she gets what she thinks is a new toy, and we sit back and reap the benefits and rewards of having a happy baby.

So what is in the 'play' stage of the rotation right now, you ask?

Let me show you the 'most loved' of the 'play' toys.

Monkey and Hippo (yes those are their names!) These two are drunk, in love, and make wonderful 'chew toys'. Kahlen adores them, and as you can see, they adore each other.

A run-of-the-mill kitchen spoon. It has to be 'the big spoon', the small ones are promptly rejected. But... 'the big spoon'... OHhhh baby! Hours of quiet happy baby!

The classics. Stacking cups and stacking rings.

Neither are stacked, but both are unceremoniously unstacked (with delight!) and then the pieces are banged together. Smiles and a 'I am so smart' look ensue.

The BEST BOOK EVER! K loves it. This is the only way I can get her to 'cuddle' with me. I can read this book cover to cover 3 times and  she actually sits still, moving only slightly when I POP open the flap on each page.

"Peter Rabbit". A fave toy with TONS of good chewy parts. Easily fits in the the diaper bag :)

The CUBE. This cube is is well loved. K pics it up, chews it, throws it, crawls to it, 'rolls' it and then does it all over again. It came in a set of 3 and was recommended by the occupational therapist from the NICU because of its black and white, and bold colours (very developmentally appropriate).

 The cube is 'hot' the pyramid and ball are 'not'.

Sophie the Giraffe. The best 21.99 ever spent. This is a teething kids best friend!

The pop up box thing. K loves to close the boxes, and use this to stand up on. Opening the boxes is more of a 'mom' job, and K isnt shy to let me know when my assistance is needed.

The 'play and learn' table. Fun toy Noisy toy. Not a good 6am toy. Its nice that the legs come off when I want K to stay close to the ground, or go on when she wants to stand.

The box that her new toy came in (see OH BOY NEW TOY for more)

The 'game' K plays with the box.

Crawl to, drum on, climb up, stand, climb on TOP of, sit, smile, be proud, announce pride at top of lungs, climb off of box, drum on box, announce accomplishment at top of lungs, repeat!

Oh... And Elmo (even though he is technically on 'vacation' right now). This is the stand up comedy Elmo. He sings, tells jokes, talks, laughs, and generally annoys the F*#K outta Steve and I. Miss K loves it though. I think she enjoys having a play mate her own size who can cary on a conversation with her.

Level 3 bed at RCH's NICU Move

Well its official. The level 3 beds at Royal Columbian Hospital's NICU have moved to surrey. 

Its been a very interesting and controversial move. Miss K and I head back to RCH twice a month for their NICUs parent teas. The teas are a chance for parents in the NICU to get away from the NICU without leaving the hospital, and to chat with other parents, nurses, PCCs, OT, Physio etc... Kahlen and I go to show em that tiny 25 weekers do grow, thrive and become just like there term counterparts. I also go to let knew parents to the NICU that they way they are feeling is TOTALY normal! Its a very tough transition the first week. Things really change for them, usually quick, and most days you are overwhelmed and scared. So, while we are at the teas we get the chance to hear about the move first hand from the people who work there. Most disagree with the move, Many are down right mad about it, and others are worried that dismantling the NICU with the highest survival rate in Canada could have dire effects on the level 3 babies of the future. For more info, please visit Province Article. This is something that hits close to home, we owe RCHs NICU our little girl!

Fun with Time Lapse

Today I had some fun!

No, really! I had TONS of fun.

I was goofing around on my lap top while Miss K slept and I found a few new things that my

Mac Book can do that I didn't know it could.

So I started to goof around. I started to play. Then Kahlen woke up and the real fun began.

I give you my 'energizer bunny' of a girl!

OH BOY NEW TOY

Today I splurged and got K a new toy. She didn't need it. Believe me, my living room already looks like Toys 'r' Us threw up all over the place most days. But, I splurge (well not really, it was on sale) and THIS is my photo journal entitled "OH BOY NEW TOY!"

Hey dad, what you got there?

Looks good...want some help?

A plastic bag? AWESOME 

(Steve is saying "STOP! Im moving the bag right now! Yeesh)

Hmmmm. This is pretty cool.

Here let me give you a hand with that!

Hey Who put this box here?

Here let me help you read that.

Seriously dad, want some help reading that?

Here, I'll just climb up and help!

Oh! what's this?

Hey! Its that box again. I can use it to stand AND drum on it. This thing ROCKS!

Aren't you done yet?

Seriously dad. Im getting sleepy over here... aren't you done yet?

Im torn. Toy? Box?

TOY!!! YIPEE!!!

(Note: this whole interaction happened during the span of 5 minutes. 

Kahlen didn't stop moving the WHOLE time. This kid. I tell yah! I am one busy momma!)

Muffin Tops

Before I dive into the 'meat' of my latest culinary fiasco, I should make it clear I am speaking literally about muffin tops and NOT the fat parts of my waist that bulge over the top of my pants creating a 'well baked' effect, and causing me to lament about not working out enough.

So, my latest culinary delight...more accurately, fiasco. I was having 'the girls' over for an evening of Big Love, Movies, and chit chat. In keeping with Steve and my agreement (which is to use all the food in our pantry before buying anymore 'pantry food'), I decided to bake some muffins for my guest and use up some of the pantry goods. Kill 2 birds with 1 stone, so-to-speak. So I dug up the old family recipe for oatmeal toffee muffins from the dusty vault in my memory (I feel obligated to emphasize it was VERY dusty, so you judge me a little less as your read, and feel more pity than disgust at this posts conclusion) and pulled out the necessary supplies. A bag of Skor toffee baking bits and a bag of oatmeal muffin mix. Okay, its not really an old family recipe, but the ingredients were in the pantry (in keeping with the deal) and made for a good indulgence for my story. Play along! Where was I? Oh yes... I pulled out the ingredients, mixed them together, poured the batter into the mini muffin pan (I make minis cause they are so darn cute) and then had an unfortunate realization. I forgot to grease the muffin pan. "SHIT!" I exclaimed. I really did. Out loud. Kahlen gave me a disapproving look, then went back to chewing on her stuffed hippo. "Darn it!" I corrected. Being the lazy baker I am, rather than removing the batter, cleaning the muffin pan, greasing it, and repouring the batter I say "Meh, Im sure it'll be fine" to myself. It is NOT fine. I cant get the muffins out of the pan. No, that is a lie. I CAN get them out, but when Im done with them they no longer resemble muffins. They look more like a pile of discarded muffin crumbs. Which I suppose is essentially what they become, so its fitting. I try in vain to scoop a few out, to salvage just a few, to serve my guests. No dice. Each attempt produces a more pathetic excuse for a muffin than the last. So I give up, put a tea towel on top of the muffin pan (to hide the evidence from my guests) and forgot about the fiasco until my guests left.

Then I engaged in full blown shame spiral... I ate the tops off the muffins. Out of the pan. In my undies (okay I made that part up but it makes for a better story). They were DE-LISH!

And, once I was sufficiently stuffed with muffin tops I left the muffin pan on the coffee table, waddled to bed and had a great sleep. The next day, I looked at the pan. "Shameful," I muttered to myself. I moved the pan from the living room, to the kitchen, and unceremoniously dumped it, face down, in the sink and forgot about it. I finally decided to deal with the pan tonight. The muffins were not only baked on/in, but were now stale and even more stuck on (which I didn't think was even possible) cause the toffee bits melted and then hardened after spending some time in the sink! So I grabbed a spoon, turned on Days of Our Lives (Beau and Hope, just get back together already!), and proceeded to scoop the crusted, stale, remnant muffin bottoms from the pan. Glamourous!

I suppose the point of this post is to... uhhhh.... no point really. Anyone have any ideas about the moral of this story? Suggestions welcome. Be kind though. I may be a terrible baker, but I have feelings. Ha!

The Simple Side of Love

After having a very lazy day at home, I managed to finagle (and yes that IS a word!) a good friend into going for a coffee with me. She, being the wonderful mother she is, brought her 2 wee girls with her. Both her kids are VERY well behaved. The baby slept soundly, and the 'big girl' sat patiently in her chair nibbling away on a chocolate chip cookie nearly the size of her head. I sat sipping my 'London Fog' while Miss K lay lazily in my lap, greedily sucking away on a expertly warmed bottle. The dulcet and sultry tones of Dianna Kral's voice float around us, as we chat. Bliss! What more could I ask for?

I ended up getting more than I bargained for. As my friend excused herself to change a diaper, the 'big girl' gave me some advice and insight miles beyond her 4 years. "when you love someone it makes you feel so good". I agreed, "It sure does, doesn't it?". She went on to tell me that she was in love, with Marcello, from her preschool. "What makes you love him," I probed. She sat back in her chair, put the tip of her small finger on her chin, and struck an almost comedic 'thinking tableau'. "He can count. He knows all his numbers". I grilled her, as only a mother can do, "anything else?" A long pause...."Nope". And then I found myself leaning back in my chair, taking another contemplative sip of my london fog, and replying "well little Miss. You are one smart cookie". Simplicity in love. No mind games. No dating around till you find the perfect fit. No crap, B.S, or games. Just ask yourself "can he count? Does he know all his numbers". Ha!

Anyone of my single friends wanna try this new approach to assessing love and give me some feed back about its success rate?

Hello? Can anybody hear me?

Ok. I put the feelers out before and got some response, but perhaps I didn't give it enough time. Maybe I did, but only 4 people feel that my pathetic attempt at a blog is worth reading? Hmmmm. So this time, I wait a few days longer. A week or two perhaps. Im trying to decide if its worth muttering, bumbling, and fumbling though this blogging thing.

So, if you read this and think I am moderately (and yes, I use that term loosely) entertaining then leave a note in the comment section. Id even take suggestions about what you want me to blog about, or not blog about (don't say Miss K though, that would be a deal breaker). I nervously await your feedback.... that is, if anyone even reads this. *Fingers Crossed*

Helicopter Parenting

For those of you who have young children. Read this article.

 For those of you who don't have young children. Read this article.

Helicopter Parenting (Time Magazine Online)

Fancy Friday

Today some of us NICU mom-babe teams headed over to Jessica's for a play date. I've already blogged about the good, bad and ugly of a play date so I won't bother with that. This time we took some pictures of the kids, all together, so we could document their friendship from the get-go.

(Starting in the top left hand corner going clockwise:

Kayla, Abbigayle, Sophia, Cameron (our stud) Kahlen and Josie)

We lay the kiddos down on the floor with their heads close together. Getting six kids, all of whom can roll over, to stay on their backs was surprisingly easy. Then again, our kids ARE insanely smart, so it wasn't THAT big a surprise. It was a great time, and Im so glad we were able to get some pics of the kids together. Next time we need to organize a get together with ALL the NICU grads :)

Misha and the 7 Lesbians

Okay random post.

My mom has a friend, Misha, who told her some story about his life that came to be titled "Misha and the 7 Lesbians". So for a laugh, I gave that title to my brother (who is a talented comedic writer) and instructed him to let the title inspire him. This is what he wrote:

Micha and the Seven Lesbians

Micha lived a normal life,

with his normal wife,

buttering bread

with his bread knife.

He rarely sang,

or used slang,

he heard a bang,

and his doorbell rang.

"Who could that be?"

as he swallowed his tea,

"Mickey? Rickey? Whoopie? Finn?"

"I am a lesbian, now let me in!"

Anxiety attack,

stuck in his tracks,

Do I attack?

"I heard that".... she said back.

He cracked the door,

but couldn't ignore,

not one , two , three or four,

7 lesbians, lesbians galore.

"What do you desire,

with me and my house?"

"It's not you we require,

we want your spouse."

They raided the place,

his personal space;

they raided with grace,

until they found her face.

They left in a flash,

closed the door, smash,

They took his wife, they left his cash,

They did it silent, no talking trash.

Micha sat with his piece of bread,

"Nothing we can do" the cops said.

He stared at a picture of his wife,

and buttered his bread, with a bread knife.

Getting ready to end his day,

A knocking door interrupts his pray,

Seven men to his dismay,

"We've come for you, we are gay."

Sam R.R. Eeck

Graco Stroller Recall

To be honest I had no idea about this recall until I read Stacey's blog this morning (very fun to read BTW). In keeping with the 'I encourage parents to be informed' part of me, I added a link to a CBC Online News article (which I also 'borrowed' from Stacey's blog). Hmmmmm. I think Im becoming a compulsive thief... more on that later after I get some coffee into my system... right now. Lets help save the world! One baby finger at a time :)

CBC Online News Article (Click Here)

Greatest Inventions

I was doing some pondering this evening, as I sometimes do, and I gave some thought to the inventions that have helped made my daily life what it is today. Some of these, include:

*Telephone (1876)

*Automobile (1885)

*Remote Control (1898)

*Washing Machine (1907)

*Bra (1913)

*TV (1923)

*Credit Card (1950)

*E Mail (1971... Yes before the internet. Wild! I know!)

*PC (Personal Computer-1973)

*Mobile Phone (1977)

*The Internet (1983)

*WWW (World Wide Web- 1990)

*GPS (Global Positioning Device- 1993)

taken from the 'Timeline of Historical Inventions' found at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_historic_inventions
(and YES, I know wikipedia is VERY unreliable, but come on, its after midnight and K is going to be up soon)

(NOTE: this is by no means an exhaustive list. My life IS more exciting than this... I think?!)

There were a few things that were missing from the list. I felt compelled to give them their due recognition, since they have made my life 'better' in some way. So without further jibber-jabber:

*The soother/dummy/pacifier/binky (1902)

*Spandex (1959)

*Silica Cat Litter the kind that you never need to scoop/change the pee parts (1958)

* 'slip on' shoes (1200 BC)

*Breast Pump (1854)

*Chewling Gum (1870)

*'Old School Madonna Songs' (1984)

*Hair tie/Ponytail holder (1957) and the Bobby Pin (1922)

*Instant Mashed Potatoes (1962) Invented by a Canadian too!

*After Eight Mints (1962)

* Revlon 'Big Apple' Red Nailpolish (1932)
*Days of Our Lifes (1965)

(Note: this is STILL by no means an exhaustive list...*sigh*... my life appears pretty simple though)

So, There you have it ladies and gentlemen (though I suspect I have zero male readers).

The close/end/cessation of my evening ponder.

Oh wait I forgot one:

*The Pillow (3500BC)

Good Day Bad Day

Ever have those days where its a good day and a bad day? Well that would be today for me!

Good day:

*Kahlen, Steve and I laughed hysterically while running (literally) around and chasing each other.

*we looked at a REALLY nice condo that we REALLY like

* we got cake. Chocolate cake. The same cake as our wedding cake.

*we got the chance to relax and enjoy being a family

*we cleaned the place and it looks great.

Bad day:

* we won't be able to buy the condo we REALLY liked
(its a timing thing)

* Kahlen had the world's HUGEST poonami EVER! (No joke. If pooping were an olympic sport, Kahlen would always win gold. What a disgusting event though... YUCK!)

*Steve goes back to work tomorrow. A day early no less. Stupid OT.

So it was a good and a bad day all at once. I guess thats life though.... hmmmm. I guess I'll fall back on the quote that "tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it".

(What a boring blog entry! Tomorrow will be more entertaining, I promise!)

GOOD MORNING!

I walked into K's room today to say good morning and get her out of her crib (after listening to what I though was her chatting with herself in the crib mirror for about 20 minutes) and when I walked in this is what I saw... what a cleaver girl!

I was so excited and astonished I grabbed the camera to document just how please she was with herself. I mean talk about pride. And I was proud too... and thankful we decided dropped the crib mattress one more 'notch' earlier this week. Crisis averted, thank goodness!

I just can't believe my tiny little 25 weeker is so freaking grown up!!! Okay enough gushing... sorry, its just a preprogramed mom thing to do...comes in a package with 'eyes on the back of your head' and being able to yell your child's entire name with you jaw clenched tight. HA!

Does Anyone Read This?

Just a quick check.

Im pretty sure there are only 5 of you (Mom, Auntie Lee, Candace, Megan, and Tricia) but I thought I would double check. SO, if you read this, please post a comment and let me know what you think.

Spanks!

KK

Classy Lady on a Saturday Night

OK. Kahlen is asleep. Steve is at work. Im alone on a Saturday night.

SWEET! I look around at the mess. Im not being modest. This place looks like a bomb went off. REALLY. I have photographic proof.

Brace for impact...

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.... MESS!

Yes you are seeing that correctly! The laundry baskets are full of clean clothes that need folding. The kitchen counter is covered with dirty dishes (but I cant put them in the dishwasher because its already full of dirty dishes). The table is covered with dirty clothes. The couch is covered in 1/2 folded laundry. There is a package of toilet paper in the entry way. And you know what?

Im not going to change a thing. Its Saturday night after all.
Its time for a P-A-R-T-Y!

So how did I spend my night? I watched 'He's Just Not That Into You' and ate an 'improvised dinner' (which means you take whatever is left in the house and mix it together in a way that ALMOST tastes good). So what did I make to eat for my wild night in?

  

YES! You saw it correctly.

Instant mashed potatoes with bacon bits and sour cream and a tangerine pop on the side.

OH BABY! This is the high life!

People Just Don't Get It!

I think unless you’ve live in the NICU for 17 weeks with a premature baby (or even a few weeks with one) you just don’t get what it means to be the parent of a premie. Im getting really tired of people telling me that I’m over reacting when I ask them not to bring pets into my home, or wash their hands before holding K, or stay away if they are sick. I AM NOT BEING PARANOID! My kid was born 15 weeks early and I lived (sometimes just barely) though 17 agonizing weeks of watching her struggle and fight in the hospital, and then spending the rest of her life desperately trying to keep her safe and healthy and NOT wind up back in the hospital with her. How dare you idiots tell me that I am over reacting! How dare you even pretend to know what we all went though! Makes me just NUTS! Before you open you big mouth and try to preach to me about my kid, SHUT IT. I am a great mom, and my kid comes first, not you, your ego, or your feelings. Get off your soap box and quit before you start. Im not taking it anymore!

END RANT.

Does My Kid Have A Sleep Problem?

Okay. Flashback. 2 Months ago. My daughter sleeps. She sleeps well. We all sleep well. Really well.

Trip to see her grandma.

A head cold.

Teething (but no freaking teeth... argggg).

Stomach flu.

NOT SLEEPING WELL.

After another night of trying to calm Kahlen as she screamed and screamed and screamed, tearing my hear into smaller and smaller pieces left me wondering. Is my kid still sick? Am I am bad mom? or does she have a ‘sleep issue’? I hate feeling like I don’t know what I’m doing (right or wrong). I am stuck. I am at a loss. She is tired, possibly even over tired, but only wants to eat and eat and eat and eat and eat to put herself to sleep. I have spoiled her with this form of soothing (but Im the mom of a 25 weeker, and initially this was done to help her get bigger. She was afterall, TINY) and now it seems she may not know how to get to sleep without it. The other option is that after a week of feeling unwell with the tummy flu, she really is hungry and needs the extra food. I am torn. Should I give it to her or not? I err on the side of common sense and figure if she is eating it, she must be hungry. Better safe than sorry, right? I guess the whole experience, the whole production, the whole insane mess tonight just left me wondering. What is going on? I could go round and round and round wondering and pondering about every option, continually beating myself up for not know more (or knowing better)... but I wont... well not anymore. Im tired and I have a feeling K will be up again soon. *sigh*

Am I alone? Or is anyone else out there wondering any of the same things?